When we last left those barmies who decided to stop the maimed one, they had just survived the Vecna’s forge locus, and had only just made it to the one, true temple of our great lord Vecna. Once at the bottom, they completely ignored the reliefs that chronicled his noble and just life, and those true disciples who were studying our lord’s greatness so they could become more like him, only to split up.
The fool witch and that addle-coved doorknob went to the Shrine of the Eye, while the runt of a halfling and that berk of a paladin entered the sacred Shrine of the Hand.

The Gnome and the Bard

As the gnome and bard entered into the glorious Shrine of the Hand, they came upon one who was to be an offering to our true lord, a female Dragonborn. After awakening her, they continued into the Chamber of Art and insulted the future god of the Multiverse by becoming quite sickened at the glorious works we, his faithful, had brought to honor him.
They then desecrated the Chamber of Visions when the obscene gnome attacked one of the pillows laid in the chamber for the students of our one-eyed master to study his new plans for the multiverse once he destroyed all cages by first destroying the cage that is the Cage. They then ignored the Chamber of Purification, only to be stopped by one of Vecna’s own honor guard, who sadly was put into the dead-book by these savages.
They probably even desecrated the bodies of the honorable fallen warriors before continuing on to join with their devious compatriots.

The Kender and the Warlock

While the dastardly gnome and his unworthy halfling companion were awakening she who was to be given the ultimate honor of being allowed to be killed by the priest of the Keeper of Secrets, the witch from our lords own home and the curious runt from that world of dragons desecrated the Shrine of the Eye. Our lord did have hopes for them, even granting the little thief a replica of the eye that was taken from him.
They, of course, did not appreciate the gift.
These two heathens dared to gaze into the Unholy Font of the Water of Vecna, where the witch dragged the kender out, and then into the Chamber of the Test. Of course, they couldn’t be bothered, but were nearly stopped by one of Vecna’s warriors.
They then dared the sacrilege of defeating one of Vecna’s servants before joining with those others who had defiled the temple.

Back Together at Last

Once they had come back together, they ignored the hymns to the glory of Vecna that were sung in the Psalmatory, and completely bypassed Vecna’s chapel, to confront those who would give honor to our great lord.
And they fought.
And fought.
And those bashers even were able to defeat those who Vecna had chosen to lead his church.
At least Vecna was around to restore them to life, but the fight continued.
Only one went down to the power of Vecna. With a single word, the gnome was overcome with the glory of Vecna and fell.
The Servitor of the Hand would have defeated that witch, had it not been for the bard, while the rest pummeled the form of Vecna, taunting him as they did.
Then, it happened.
The witch, using the gifts from one who was jealous of our great lord, killed the form of Vecna, sending him out of the Cage.
The cowards then fled, and received their reward from the entity who controls the City of Doors, which included her “protection” from the glories of our great lord, who she called “the failed god”.
It is rumored that they now reside in the Lady’s Ward. While Lord Vecna may not be able to do anything about them, we will have our justice.

It started off as a pleasant enough day in the City of Doors. The gnome went off to purchase a helm for his tiny little head, the halfling went to see her lover, the kender headed off towards the Civic Festhall to report, the tiefling attempted to frame the gnome for theft, the gnome was scragged for putting some poor shopkeep in the dead-book, and the dragonborn was hired to watch the scene of the crime while the tiefling and kender got piss drunk.
And somehow, the entire lot of them just gave the Cage the laugh.
Then the Faction War happened, and the Lady of Pain herself (or at least through the Dabus) gave the ultimatum and the surviving factions either fled Sigil or simply disbanded.

A Few Years Later . . .

It was an ordinary day in the City of Doors, and just like on every other day, a new group of clueless arrived, and judging by the state of their gear, they came from the Feywild.
Then it happened.
Something that has never happened before in Sigil, something that the Lady has never allowed.
The avatar of a god tread through a tear in the sky and into the Cage. He very quickly set up shop in the remains of the Armory, shaping it to suit his purposes. He was followed by some addle-coved out-of-town elf who quickly joined up with the group of barmies who decided it might be a good idea to follow the god.
Somehow this group got lucky, as they not only came to the attention of the Lady of Pain, but they survived her wrath and left to follow the power, who is called Vecna, I think, into the Armory.
They quickly dispatched those Doomguard who had fallen in the Faction War, and barely survived battling with the Slaadi who had claimed the Armory as their own before the Whispered One even came into the Cage. After a battle with more of the lost bashers who died for their faction, they tracked the Maimed God down into a new under level of the Armory loosing one of their own in the process.
For the sake of the Multiverse, I hope they succeed and defeat the Master of the Spider Throne.

The Case of the Missing Child

After their stunning defeat last time, most of our intrepid adventurers decided to continue, with Liam finding the nearest bar and getting some bub.
After asking around, they finally got the dark on a portal to Ecstasy, which didn’t work.
It was just a door of a seemingly abandoned building in the Lower Ward. They just didn’t have a key.
Well, they had to get the chant on a key, so the poor sods had to ask around more. The dark of the key is that they need to go through with something that they borrowed.
After borrowing some stuff from each other, they made it to Ecstasy, and started making a nuisance of themselves asking about Sarah.
Well, they soon found themselves attracting the attention of some rather large bashers.
Warforged bashers.
Of course, they got into a fight, but the magics in this burg kept people from being hurt. Eventually, the fake men “escorted” the group to Sarah, and found out the dark of the situation.
The short of it:

Aeric Nolle ran a con. To help, he had a little halfling named Sarah to be his “daughter”. If she didn’t work as hard as she could or didn’t perform to his standards, he was a bit violent.
She had enough.
She saved some jink and hired some warforged mercs to “abduct” her while they were hiding from the law between Ecstasy and Tradegate.
He, of course, lied to get some berks to bring her back to him.

They then agreed to escort her from one burg to another burg and then a third burg. They traveled nearly three weeks to Tir na Og where they encountered a familiar topknot who kept saying something about being here to “Wooly Mammoth”, whatever that means. Then another week to Sheela Peryroyl’s Realm where she gave them their rewards: a new sword for Akara, a new axe for Gimble, an amulet for Mikeala, a new pouch for Kalin. They then left so the kender could continue on his sensate mission.

The Case of the Missing Gimble

After a near month of travel, they make it to Sylvania, the gatetown to Arborea where the party never stops, where they partied.
Then got into a barfight, during which Gimble got taken.
He awoke in a cage in a lab of a wizard. There was an albino cleaning.

The albino gave him chicken broth.
Meanwhile, after the half-orc the kender hit in the face with a cherry pie caught him, the halfling and the dragonborn searched for the Gimble.
They found some clues, asked around, and found a drunk that claimed he was hired by a tall man in black robes to get him a gnome. The man’s name was . . . Bigglesworth? Wadsworth? Mary Worth? Butterworth? something that ended with a worth, and gave our “heroes” an address.
The gnome was prepped for surgery and was being strapped to a table when there was a massive knock on the door.
The albino opened the door.
He opened the door as a dragonborn was throwing all her weight at the door.
…
yeah
…
He got himself a face full of dragonborn shoulder.
Now inside, they were attempting to disguise the dragonborn as the albino. The disguise was crap, but when the wizard came down the stairs, it somehow worked.
He wasn’t wearing his spectacles at the time.
They start heading downstairs with Mikaela failing at being sneaky, the dragonborn sees the gnome and rushes downstairs as the wizard is heading for an orb on the table.
Mikaela trips him by throwing her body in front of him, and he hits his head on the table, knocking him out.
They rush out.
And all while the gnome was sleeping.

The day started out like every other day.
I was in my office in the hive when she walked in. A shapely brunette that was all legs.
And I mean it. Just a pair of legs wearing a wig.
Creepiest damn thing I ever saw.
-—————————
Okay. That was a gag.
On to the real story.
-—————————
Our hero, Gimble, was helping out at Aleesha’s Pantry in the Hive Ward along with the Tiefling, Crunan Shadowborn, when an elven man entered and collapsed, but not before uttering the words “help me . . .”
CRASH!!!
After waking him up, our friendly neighborhood paladin, coaxed a story out of the elf’s beaten and bruised face.
“My name is Aeric Nolle. I’m a merchant and was traveling between Ecstasy and Tradegate in the Outlands with my daughter, Sarah, when some big bashers nearly put me in the dead-book and swiped my most precious possession, my daughter.”
Well, our noble hero did what he did best.
He ran to his friends.
Of course, Mikeala and Liam were eager to help, though I think Liam was more eager to get Mikeala off his head.
For some reason, she has decided to be a circus performer . . . .
Well, anyways, they head off to gather Akara while Gimble hears the full story from the elf.
And the hapless trio of Mikeala, Liam, and Akara get lost.
In the Hive.
…
…
yup.
And, to make matters worse, Mikeala steps in a puddle.
In the Hive.
In the City of Doors.
And, the ooze in the puddle nearly dragged her into the paraelemental plane of ooze.
…
Maybe Gimble should have given them directions.
Well, they finally make it to the pantry, only to hear the full story, when a clown bursts in demanding some jink from the elf.
A fight breaks out, the clown goes down, and in a moment of pure restraint, Akara stomps on his head.
Akara crushed the clown’s head with her boot. -natural 20 on a knocked out clown tends to do that
They then make plans while Aeric takes his leave to hide, but not before giving them an address.
They then decide to get more info from Aeric after nearly 2 hours of discussion. i think you’re exagerating -ed
They head to the Foundry District in the Lower Ward, hear Aeric being accousted by quite a few cutters who mop the floor with the group, killing Crunan in the process, and run off with Aeric.

To Be Continued.

As any addle-cove knows, the Lady’s Ward ain’t no place for a bunch of bashers like our heroes, so they had to leave before anyone of the other high-up men in the ward decided to call the Hardheads in. So that they did.
They did what any basher would do after getting the kind of jink they got. They went to the Great Bazaar, but two went in their own direction, so let’s do what you should never do and split the party.

The Bard

You know what, we’ll get to that little halfling later as all that she did was spend quite a bit o’ jink on herself.

The Thief

Well, our intrepid tiefling decided that what he really needed was to get himself a new sack to hold all the loot he obtained after they dealt with that bloody monster from the portal under a bed. The good thing was, he asked around. The bad news, he was almost peeled by a rather large Mul. More good news, he saw the dark of the con. More bad news, he attempted to provoke the Mul, the Mul who knew to give the Hardheads a bit o’ garnish.
And good thing he didn’t cause that could have ended quite badly for our tiefling.
He did eventually find out a source for that bag he was tryin’ to score, but he had to head to the Fest Hall District to find a short berk with bright red hair who like to gamble away his jink.
So, he made his way there.

And The Rest

While the other two were spending time just lolly-gagging, the dragonborn, the gnome, and the kender just went there for a stop over, as every cutter knows that it’s easy to get a sedan chair in the Great Bazaar.
You see, the door-knob wanted to buy his new friends something to drink, and not the kind of bub you find in the Hive, mind you.
After that poor sod of a gnome took care of some of his finances, and just as the top-knotted fool got a chair, they saw some poor clueless from another realm come out of a portal followed by a couple of cross-tradin’ scum leaving a merchant broke.
Boy, did those sods pick the wrong time to practice their trade.
A couple went down with some arrows to the calf, one tried to hold a monk hostage, and got a swift kick to the private area as a reward.
As you could possibly guess, the fight was over quickly.
After the introductions, Kalin took his “old” friends and his new friends of Anatha (and she’s quite tall) and Liam (looks familiar for some reason. ) to the Festhall District for a well deserved drink, after the halfing caught back up to them as they were about to get in the sedan chairs the kender hired.

And drink they did. Right across from the Civic Festhall. In fact, you’d never know it, but Liam is a bubber. And such a bubber, that he let the tiny little halfling attempt to dance on his head.
Sure, she fell off. And tried again.
And fell off.
And tried again.
I guess she found the dark on sobbering a bubber up, because he had to stop because the clueless hurt his neck.
And that’s where the tiefling caught up with them.
Turns out, that the tiefling and the monk were old friends and had grown up together.
Well, while they were catching up, and heading to find a kip, they failed to notice a couple of things.
First, their door-knob was missing.
Yep, they left the kender. Alone.
Second, while they could still hear the sounds of the festhall, the block they were on was pretty quiet.
And third, there were a few bashers about looking for a little jink.
What they got instead were their arses kicked.
And with that, the night ended at the Chicken and Ogre.

Once upon a time, there was a house in the Lady’s Ward.
In that house lived a high-up man, his little daughter, and many, many servants.
Then, at random, a portal to another place opened up underneath the bed of the little girl.
In that other place live a weird creature, and the creature scared the little girl something fierce.
And that’s where our intrepid adventurers came in.
The high-up man sent out word that he needed some poor sods to deal with the monster that had scared his little girl, but the only ones willing to work for the jink that he was willing to offer were five berks: A kender named Kalin, a dragonborn named Akara, a gnome named Gimble, a bard named Mikaela, and a tiefling named Balasar.
Our “heroes” headed under the bed and went through the portal only to get into an argument with a hedgehog in a miner’s cap, and after some convincing, it led them to the Great Hall before leaving them to their fate.
The room was grand, made of polished stone and lit brightly with torches. In alcoves in the walls rested the statues of squires with a statue of a knight standing on an island in a pool in the center of this grand chamber. As our adventurers entered, the statues came to life and advanced on those poor sods.
The battle was fierce with most of the group nearly dying, but the day was saved by the heroics of Kalin and Balasar.
Wounds were tended to, and doors were checked as our adventurers continued in their noble quest for payment. The traveled down a long corridor, many hundreds of feet long and did battle with more of the squire statues, and heading through way to many doors, before entering into the lair of the vicious monster that had been terrorizing the little girl.
And, boy, was that monster ugly. It was at least as tall as a dragonborn standing on the shoulders of an orc with a head covered with many blinking eyes looking in all directions, tentacles instead of legs and arms, and a raccoon’s tail. As the addle-coved bashers entered the room, led by the mighty warriors of Kalin and Balasar, way too many squire statues arose from the ground along with a couple of those blasted knights.

The battle was long. The battle was fierce. The gnome went down followed quickly by the kender.
The dragonborn was hanging on by a thread, as was the tiefling and the halfling, but a well placed shot from Balasar took down the creature, and soon after that, the remaining statues melded into the floors of the chamber.
An hour of investigation uncovered vast amounts of riches and allowed those injured by the battles to recover. But it brought sadness as well.
A single chest full of bloody clothing from those poor children that the creature had consumed.
Our heroes left with the monsters treasures, and returned back to the high-up man to collect their reward.